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MARTHA SEZ: ‘I saw no sign of the Rapture in Keene’

The sun was totally eclipsed by the moon Monday, and apparently nobody I know was raptured. It’s still too early to know for sure, though.

Here in Keene, as in the rest of the Adirondacks, we were in the path of totality, which means you can watch the moon blot the sun from the sky as it passes between sun and Earth. With proper eye protection, of course.

People came to the Adirondacks from miles around to witness the total eclipse, a level of tourism we rarely see during mud season.

There was a widespread rumor that during the eclipse the godly among us would be carried up to heaven, or “raptured,” leaving the rest of us behind. Some believe that the clothing of the chosen will be left behind as they ascend.

This naked ascension is not mentioned in the Bible, and neither is the term “the Rapture,” nor does the Apostle Paul, who prophesied it, link the event to an eclipse. Here’s what he said in 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17: “For the Lord himself shall descend from Heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet of God; and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.”

“What does he shout?” some young friends of mine asked when I read it to them, but St. Paul doesn’t say.

I quote the Bible only to show how many liberties the hucksters are taking with the Good Book.

On April 5, Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene posted on X, formerly Twitter, “God is sending America strong signs to tell us to repent. Earthquakes and eclipses and many more things to come. I pray that our country listens.”

Radio host Alex Jones warned of the upcoming eclipse Rapture.

I wonder if Greene and Jones have been raptured.

Some possible conversations in the days following the eclipse: “Yes, the Rapture did happen. A lot of people were carried up.”

“Oh yeah, like who?”

“Oh, nobody you’d know.”

“Well, it’s funny, I can’t think who’s missing, but there just don’t seem to be as many people around anymore.”

“You thought you’d be raptured, didn’t you?”

“It’s a religious thing, isn’t it? You’re not even religious.”

“You just have to be good. Really really good.”

“Slinky Shimmelpenny got raptured they say.”

“Really? Slinky Shimmelpenny?”

So they say.”

“Old Slinky, eh? Hunh.”

(Later Slinky shows up at the Family Dollar.)

“Charlie Bickford got raptured, who would’ve thought it?”

“Apparently we all underestimated Charlie.”

“Yeah? Speak for yourself. I always thought highly of Charlie Bickford. I used to date him in high school.”

“Did he ever try anything?”

“Was Carly raptured? Haven’t seen her around.”

“No, I think she went to Michigan to see her mom.”

“In Escanaba?”

“Yes.”

“Carly will be disappointed if she didn’t get raptured.”

“Well, but, her mother’s cool. Nice lady. Escanaba means “Land of the red buck,” or, it might mean “Flat rock.”

“Still.”

I saw no sign of the Rapture in Keene yesterday, but there was certainly a lot of commotion. Before and after the eclipse, which began at 2:12 and ended at 4:36, state Route 73 was a constant stream of traffic. Keene Central School closed for the day, along with Valley Grocery, which generally remains open during any extremity nature can throw at us. I think, had it remained open, the store would have been completely overrun.

I joined old friends on their deck on East Hill in Keene to view the eclipse. The weather was perfect. A fine cloud haze did not obscure the sun, and the day was bright and warm. We talked and watched as the sun was gradually obscured by the moon.

At totality, an eerie crepuscular darkness fell, and only a brilliant corona remained.

What is that sound? We wondered. Is it the birds crying and coyotes yipping and other animals protesting the sudden nightfall?

No. The sound we heard was the cheering of hundreds of people rising up from the town below.

There was bumper-to-bumper traffic on Route 73 from Keene to Keene Valley heading south as I returned home.

I wonder how long we’ll be seeing discarded eclipse glasses? Like the disposable COVID masks used to be, they’ll be everywhere.

Have a good week.

(Martha Allen, of Keene Valley, has been writing for the Lake Placid News for more than 20 years.)

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