Rachel serves cake to planning team members, from left, Debby Rice, Elizabeth Derr, Lauren McArthur and Dan Mason. (Provided photo — Naj Wikoff)

Saying goodbye can be complicated. This week, two in Keene were challenging, though each had their elements of joy.

When a loved one dies, hopefully, it can include a celebration of a well-lived life. Even so, losing one’s mother is full of complex emotions, especially as they are the one that birthed you. As a consequence, the loss of one’s mother can be traumatic for many, no matter if you had a good, strained or in-between relationship. This week, my partner Renee’s mom, Ann, died, and it has been challenging in so many ways that I know so many of this column’s readers know so well.

At 80, Ann experienced her first sweat lodge, which she went to the experience even in winter with a roll in the snow. Ann, an artist, was adventurous. Last summer, she spent a week at the Keene Valley Neighborhood House, which resulted in her getting a proposal; at 90, she still had quite the spark in her eye. A couple of weeks ago, I suggested a wheelchair race, but she declined, saying she didn’t want to embarrass me or make me cry as she’d surely cruise to an easy win.

The passing of any loved one can bring up unresolved issues or past grievances, thoughts of wishing one could have done more, had more time or desired experiences together not taken. Through hospice care, I have learned that when facing death, people don’t want to die alone, in pain or leave anything unsaid, and wish to leave a legacy. Ann was surrounded by beauty in her last months as Renee did her best with uplifting curtains, a colorful bedspread, posters, artwork and music to create a loving space. Even so, the loss and time not spent is deeply felt.

This past Sunday, the Keene Valley Congregational Church was filled with tears of another nature as the two refugees welcomed into the community this past September are moving on.

Monique Weston, Rachel, Peter Slocum, Naomi (Provided photo — Naj Wikoff)

A little over a year ago, a member of the congregation’s daughter, who had been working in Africa, suggested to her mom that this church apply to the State Department and offer to host a refugee or refugee family. Members of the church’s Mission and Social Action Committee had discussed the notion in the past but assumed that to be successful. The community would have to be larger, like Lake Placid or Saranac Lake, where people could get about with public transportation, or the refugees would wish to be in a city with a more diverse population like Burlington, Plattsburgh or Utica. In addition, they might not be fluent in English or we in their language.

But the daughter pointed out that the State Department had a new program that sought private sponsorship of refugees by groups that included faith-based organizations. The refugees they sought to place were all vetted and approved for placement.

Last March, a Sponsorship Group was established. Members included Elizabeth Deer, Lauren McArthur, Shawn LaMarche, Dan Mason and Debbie Rice. All members were given background checks, received training, and had to devise a welcome plan, raise a certain base amount of funds, and submit an application. We had to guarantee the refugees fully furnished housing for a minimum of 90 days, help them access such services as healthcare, education, employment, and transportation, and be fully committed to assisting them in adjusting to community life, all things we take for granted as part of communicating, living, working and recreating in America.

Keene, a town of about 1,200, may have been the smallest community to submit an application, as there were lots of questions about capacity, yet our application was approved. In September, we learned that we would be getting two sisters from Africa, Rachael and Naomi, who spoke Swahili, some French and a little English.

In time, the sisters became cherished members of the community, experienced snow for the first time and found work at North Country School. But on Sunday, in a packed church, tears were shed because Rachel had decided to move to Cleveland, where she has relatives, and Naomi to Saranac Lake, where she has made some good friends, though plans to continue work at North Country School.

Pastor John Sampson described their presence in our community as a gift, part of God’s great unknowable plan that we, people from different continents, got to share this part of our life’s journey together.

“You have given us so much and opened our eyes to so many things we did not see,” said Sampson. “There are tears here today because we have loved. My only regret, Rachel, is that you never had the opportunity to experience summer in Keene, experience our community when it is warm outside.”

“I say thank you to all of you,” said Rachel. “I don’t know how it started, but I’m so grateful. You people here feed me, pay my rent, take me for walks, and that’s not all. You are there for me. You are my family. You don’t see my color. Your love is so high, so much, too much for me. You are so good, so full of love.”

Rachel said that the journey here was not easy and described how people helped them, from teaching them how to budget and open a checking account to applying for a job and learning how to drive, knit and shop in our stores.

“Every day, people in this community helped make sure I got to and from work, to the bank and shopping when needed and made me feel welcome,” said Rachel. “Thank you.”

Her sister Naomi echoed Rachel’s thoughts.

“I am so excited to be here,” said Naomi. “I am so happy and grateful for the opportunity to live here. I love the community at North Country School; it’s a great workplace. I am so excited to meet new people in Saranac Lake and have new experiences. Every day I have been here, I have met new people and learned new things. I am so thankful for the people of Keene and this church; I love them, and they have given me so much love.”

“We thought we were doing a great thing for them, but I have to say they have brought so much joy and blessings to me that I think they have changed my life forever,” said Debby Rice. “We have learned far more from them than they have from us.”

(Naj Wikoff lives in Keene Valley. He has been covering events for the Lake Placid News for more than 15 years.)