To celebrate my ongoing weight-loss success, I’m turning this column into a Broadway musical called “Fat and Happy.”

Apparently, people only want to hear good news when reading the Lake Placid Diet. That’s what one person told me. They want a success story — in film terms, a musical, not a documentary. They want scripted reality television, not reality. They want happy, not sad. They want honesty, but only if it’s good news. If it’s bad news, I should keep it to myself because I shouldn’t be bumming out my readers.

From now on, I’ll whistle a happy tune, no matter how I’m really feeling. I’ll keep my daily struggles to myself.

In my new musical, “Fat and Happy,” the cast of characters includes Andy, a morbidly obese newspaper editor in his mid-40s going through a mid-life crisis, trying to lose weight and make all his dreams come true. There’s Dawn, Andy’s wife; Dr. Oz, a physician; Dr. Phil, a psychologist; and Katie, a television personality who gained 50 pounds to prove that you can’t be fat and happy at the same time.

The audience spends a day with Andy, who opens the musical with “Good Morning Lake Placid” and explores the challenges of diet, exercise and weight loss with “Mirror, Mirror,” “The Joys of Sweat,” “Box of Chocolates” and “Who Needs Sex Anyway?” He reflects on the health benefits of combining Christianity and sports competitions with the song “Duathlon With Jesus,” and he deals with depression with “Tears of Joy.”

Scenes with Dawn feature the songs “I Love My Husky Guy” and “You’re Not Fat, They’re Just Really Skinny.” Dr. Oz contributes some musical medicine with “Take a Pill” and “It’s Only Diabetes.” Dr. Phil gives advice with “Quit Whining” and “It’s All in Your Head.” Katie sings “Happiness is a Choice” and “You’re Just Lazy.”

By the end of the day, everybody kisses and makes up with “Happy Meals For Everyone.” The show concludes with Andy counting his blessings, crawling into bed and singing “Best Day Ever.”

While I’m writing the musical, I’ll continue to whistle a happy tune. As for my progress over the past two weeks, all I can say is I gained 3 pounds, and I’m really, really happy about it.