Janus, the ancient Roman deity of time and change, is the perfect patron of the New Year’s resolution. He presides over beginnings, passages and endings. I’ve read that Janus “lives at the limits of earth, at the extremities of heaven,” and, while I can’t exactly put my finger on what that means, I like the sound of it.

Janus is depicted on ancient Roman coins and statues as having two faces, one looking backward and the other looking forward. He sees the future as well as the past.

Janus is the deity of the first season, the first day of the month, the first month of the year. January is named for Janus.

Or else it isn’t. Some scholars of ancient history say January is named for Juno, but since I consider this version to be inconvenient in the context of this column, I am going to ignore it.

As usual, we were all hopeful that the new year would be an improvement on the year just ended, and, as often happens, we were soon disillusioned. While it’s in vogue to disparage social media — just as it was in vogue to disparage television before livestreaming — it does hold a mirror to current events.

Yes, say my social-media-disparaging friends, it holds a mirror all right. A funhouse mirror. To which I say, nevertheless. Have you ever looked at your reflection in a funhouse mirror? What is a funhouse, anyway? Do you even know? I’m going to Google it. Are we capitalizing the word Google when used as a verb?

Seen on social media: “Anyone notice that suddenly there are no more fishing boats carrying drugs since we got the oil?” From The Borowitz Report: “Greenland suggests Trump acquire Epstein’s island instead.”

Meanwhile, Minnesotans besieged by ICE (U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement) are being urged on social media to cede their state to Canada. Why, Minnesota is practically a Canadian province already. Look at a map!

Minnesota is situated right below Canada, except for a little piece of the state, called the Northwest Angle, which pokes up into Manitoba. The Angle is not connected to the United States by land. To get there by car, you’d have to drive through Manitoba and Ontario and re-enter the United States at the Angle, passing through Customs. Or you could traverse Lake of the Woods by boat or float plane. In winter, the frozen lake can be crossed by a snowmobile or track vehicle.

Minnesotans, according to social media posts I’ve read, have long been known as “honorary Canadians.” They’re nice, they like hockey and they do business with Canada. Minnesota is often called “Canada’s 11th province.”

It is hard for me to believe that the millennium, the year 2000, was 26 years ago.

It is also hard for me to believe that the third millennium began on Jan. 1, 2001, as calendar geeks maintain.

The millennium was such a big deal. People were prophesying the end of the earth according to the ancient Mayan calendar, which they claimed to be able to understand. I mean, who deciphered the Mayan calendar for them and came up with that?

Also predicted were major death and destruction, along with just plain aggravation due to the worldwide malfunction of computers foretold to take place at midnight on Jan. 1. As it turned out, this did not happen, the computers taking the millennium pretty much in stride. I guess the Mayan calendar information was misconstrued.

Americans born between the years 1981 and 1996 are known as the millennial generation, although for the life of me I can’t understand why. Wouldn’t you think that people born in the year 2000 would be millennials? They are not, though. Don’t ask me. Bring it up with Pew Research.

Speaking of capitalization, Although “Gen-X,” who came of age around the millennium, as well as “The Greatest Generation,” Americans who became adults during World War II, are capitalized, “baby boomer” and “millennial” are lowercased.

Boomers are named for when they were born, 1946-1964. I hope I have cleared this up.

For a hilarious and inspiring insight into the Minnesota psyche, watch “The Minnesota Art Sled Rally 2026” on YouTube.

What’s next, Janus? Have a good week!

(Martha Allen, of Keene Valley, has been writing for the News since 1996.)