We need a distraction, something to pretend to worry about, if only to give ourselves a temporary breather. What about zombie fungus?

I’m talking about the various types of cordyceps and Massospora fungus that pose a real problem to spiders and insects, but not, so far, to human beings — never mind the premise of the television series “The Last of Us.”

I was talking with a group of women lately about the prevalence of large, orb-weaving arachnids now appearing in their homes.

Yes, this is spider season in the Adirondacks. They make their presence known in late summer and fall. Chancing upon a huge spider in the bathroom or boudoir may give you a start, but what if you found a zombie spider?

Here’s a recent headline from an on-line BBC news article: “Fungus-infected zombie spiders found in Irish caves.”

In cave systems across Ireland, Gibellula attenboroughii, a species of cordyceps fungus named after Sir David Attenborough, was found in County Down during BBC filming in 2021.

The article calls the discovery “the stuff of nightmares … reminiscent of the hit TV show and video game The Last of Us.”

It’s a novel fungus that changes the spider’s behavior, making it abandon its concealed lair or web to climb up the walls of a cave or, if outside, to the underside of leaves. Once it infects its host, the fungus eats the spider from the inside out, leaving the exoskeleton whole. A fruiting body — like a mushroom on a stalk — grows from the carcass to shower spores on spider victims below. The Gibullah fungus has also been found in spiders inhabiting Scotland’s rainforest.

Another cordyceps genus similarly affects ants, while Massospora cicadina is a different fungal pathogen that attacks 13-year and 17-year cicadas.

In his 2019 “Nature” article, “Fungal Hallucinogens Send Cicadas on Sex Binges after their Genitals Fall Off,” science writer Mike McCrae wrote about the effects of Massospora.

As cicadas emerge from their nymph stage and come crawling out of the earth, some of them become infected with the fungus. Massospora produces an amphetamine similar to ephedrine as well as psilocybin, the chemical responsible for the magic in magic mushrooms. The fungus eats the cicada’s organs and causes its abdomen to fall off, while increasing its energetic propensity to try to mate. The tail end of the cicada is replaced by a relatively large plug of fungus spores, inspiring McCrae’s term for infected cicadas, “Mini crop dusters of doom.”

McCrae wrote, “Even as the cicada bodies turn moldy and start losing parts — including bits of their abdomen and their genitals — they don’t slow down.”

Scientists say the behavior of infected cicadas mirrors that of ants infected by fungi of the genus Ophiocordyceps. The story of the zombie ants led to “The Last of Us” video game, followed by the eponymous television show.

“The Last of Us” is not a zombie show, but a dramatic survival thriller with horror elements, set in a post-apocalyptic world overrun, not by zombies, but by fungus-infected living humans.

The series, starring Pedro Pascal and Bella Ramsey, is streaming on Max (formerly HBO Max).

In a previous column I wrote about human zombies, a subject of which, at the outset, I admittedly knew nothing. A reader has since pointed out several factual errors in my account.

The first factual error brought to my attention by the aforementioned reader, who coincidentally happens to be my daughter, Molly, goes as follows: “Zombies, like vampires, are ravenous for human blood.”

“No, Mom,” Molly said. “Zombies are not like vampires. Vampires are calculating when they prey on people … Zombies just react because they’re infected,” she explained, “but they don’t think.”

“Kind of like those 17-year locusts you texted me about that go through all those motions while they’re infected with fungus. The ones that scientists called flying salt shakers of death. That must be why they’re called zombies,” I guessed.

“Exactly,” she confirmed.

“What about ‘The Zombie Apocalypse?'” I asked. “Is that good?”

“Mom. There is no movie called “The Zombie Apocalypse.”

Turns out it’s the name of the literary genre.

And don’t worry — human zombie fungus isn’t real.

Have a good week!

(Martha Allen, of Keene Valley, has been writing for the News since 1996.)