The view of Osgood Pond is seen at the start of hole three at the BarkEater Disc Golf Course near Paul Smith’s College. (News photo — Arthur Maiorella)

I muttered to myself, “Mama didn’t raise a coward.” Stepping up to hole 16 at the BarkEater Disc Golf Course (on Osgood Pond) in Paul Smiths, I grabbed a driver from my bag and ignored the shorter tee box. Shorter tee boxes are for cowards.

Thus reassured that it was nothing less than my self respect at stake, I prepared to throw. The feeling that came next is something seemingly every elite athlete or Fortune 500 CEO has credited with driving them to the top — something forever drilled into my head by my own mama who often quoted it from ABC’s “Wide World of Sports” — the agony of defeat.

I spiked that poor disc straight as an arrow through the branches of a small pine tree about 15 feet away, which blocked the speeding projectile from view. From there, I can only speculate as to the flight path. Judging by the noise I heard, I’d say the flight path was short.

About 20 minutes of picking through the underbrush later, I declared my disc MIA. Bowing my head for a brief moment of silence in its honor, I took a mulligan, retreated to the coward’s tee and threw three cowardly layup shots and a cowardly putt. If you don’t count the opening horror, I shot for a cowardly par.

“If you don’t count all the mistakes I made, I did well” is, of course, a pretty dumb philosophy. It’s right up there with “I credit my victory to all my failures.” Alas, I’m still looking for victory.

A tree decorated with disc cutouts at the BarkEater Disc Golf Course near Paul Smith’s College (News photo — Arthur Maiorella)

Disc golf is a sport much like regular golf. Instead of hitting a golf ball from point A to B, a player throws a disc (think of a Frisbee) around a nine- or 18-hole course. Instead of a cup on the ground, each hole is finished in a raised metal basket. Like regular golf, the aim is to get from the start of each hole to the end of it in as few strokes (or throws) as possible. Unlike regular golf, courses require minimal upkeep, are usually free to play, and the space is often mixed-use as a dog park or just a public green area.

The BarkEater course is a joy to play. It was even a joy to play badly on. It’s 18 wooded holes that all seem like they have a personality to them. Sometimes, however, they share that personality with a sort of vengeful disc golf god. Hole five, for example, is 169 feet and nearly straight; it’s perfect to try to ace. Except, miss that hole-in-one, and suddenly a sharp dip in elevation leaves your drive hanging in space to fade into the woods.

Hole nine, too, is particularly sinister. It is 514 feet long, a moderate uphill, a rolling downhill, and then a steeper uphill act as breaking waves. Throw too low and it’ll take you a dozen shots to make it to the basket, too high and you’ll go careening into the trees.

Sensing a pattern of ending up in the brush? I don’t think there is a single tree within 10 feet of any fairway I didn’t hit.

The real signature hole of the course is hole four. It’s a short 218 feet, a distance nipping at the edge of hole-in-one territory. On paper, the par of four strokes makes no sense. In actuality, the fairway on four goes straight for about 100 feet, then turns almost 90 degrees left and marches straight another 100 to the basket. In that time, players lose and then gain 30 to 45 feet of elevation.

To keep anyone from attempting to get too crafty and bushwhacking their way through the woods to skip the dip, there’s a tree at the bottom marked “Mando” and a little sign explaining that the tree is the “mandatory right” tree and that everyone must get around it.

It was on the Mando Tree that I picked up the first of the seven bogeys (and one double bogey) I would collect. I would go on to finish eight over par, not finding a birdie until hole 18.

Eight over par, a lost a disc, rain and being bit by a gajillion mosquitoes seems like a recipe for a bad afternoon.

No way. I loved every second of the course.

You see, BarkEater is everything a disc golf course can aspire to be. It’s four-season friendly (courageous players can play in the winter); all the holes are unique; the paths are well-maintained and not rocky; and it features a nice bench overlooking Osgood Pond. Also, crucially to what makes disc golf so popular and in contrast to Whiteface’s course, it’s free to play. The Paul Smith’s College VIC, which is right across the road on state Route 30, will even loan you discs for free.

The only thing left on my wish list is tee pads. Currently, most pads are just marked squares of cleared ground — which is fine but not optimal. A few have rubber mats — which is actually worse as the mats wrinkle and are a fall hazard. The best tees are concrete, which offer traction and never get muddy or destroyed by use.

Like most courses, BarkEater is not run for profit. It doesn’t even have a park district looking after it. Paul Smith’s College houses the course, but everything is maintained by volunteers who spend their own time picking up litter and doing any pruning. It makes sense that concrete pads are not a priority.

All told, I loved the BarkEater course. But like a cliche country song, she did not love me back. The mark of a truly terrific course is that I already want to play again.

If you want to play BarkEater, you can find it near the Paul Smith’s College VIC. If you want to get involved with the course, join the BarkEater Play Group on Facebook. There’s also a tournament at BarkEater in August called Barksmanship Throwdown — information can be found online at https://tinyurl.com/5xww3jkc.

(Arthur Maiorella is a junior studying photojournalism at Syracuse University’s Newhouse School of Public Communications. He was an intern at the Lake Placid News for six weeks this summer.)

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BarkEater Disc Golf Course

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Location: Paul Smith’s College

Address: State Route 30 in Paul Smiths, .6 miles north of the junction of Routes 30 and 86 (on the right)

Admission: Free

Year established: 2016

Season: Year-round (park across the road at the Paul Smith’s College VIC in the winter)

Website: paulsmiths.edu/barkeater-dgc

UDisc user rating: 4.3 (out of 5)

Holes: 18