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MARTHA SEZ: Shake it out and get moving

We all made our New Year’s resolutions back on January first, and I know that sincere attempts at follow-through were made. Resolving to improve yourself in the North Country at that time of year, however, is like determining to move a mountain of snow all by yourself, using only a cheap snow shovel.

    Even leaving the house for a social event is too much, like trying to pull a sledge loaded with cases of bottled Saranac Ale up an icy slide to a party. No Clydesdale, no snowmobile, just your own steam.

    No matter how much you might have once wanted to go to that party, you see now that to  persevere is folly. One last look at the lights glimmering through the pines on the distant mountaintop, and it’s back to the warmth and safety of home. What words can describe the feeling of relief you experience as you sink down into the pile of Afghans on the sofa? There.

    What did you say? You resolved to lose weight?

    Well, I personally think you always look very nice, but the truth of the matter is it simply can’t be done. The effort required is too great.

    This is because the new year begins in the very heart of winter, when we are still in hibernation mode. Just getting up off the couch is difficult enough, and our stomachs tell us that in doing so we have expended all of the energy we were working so hard to lay by for just such an occasion.

    More mashed potatoes, our stomachs shout. More gravy! Beef is good, pork is good, chicken will do. Fried food tastes good, and if you call it sautéed instead of fried, it’s good for you. More ice cream!  Make it snappy.

    This is instinct, and there is nothing we can do about it.

    Now things are changing. Those dark days of the winter solstice are behind us. As of March first, we are already in meteorological spring, and the spring equinox, the beginning of astronomical spring, arrives March 20th. This Sunday at 2 a.m. we leave standard time and go on daylight saving time again. Spring forward — set your clock ahead. You wouldn’t want to be an hour late. The sun is bright, not some pale disk far away in a gray sky, but a force to be reckoned with.

    Snow is melting, and birds are making their mating calls. Soon we will be arguing over who saw the first robin. The redwinged blackbirds will be back.

    Aren’t you glad that dinosaurs have gone extinct, and that we have birds instead? ornithologists say that birds are the descendants of dinosaurs, and I find them highly preferable. Instead of spying a robin cocking its little head in our direction or listening to a congregation of blackbirds warbling in our yards, we could be fending off migrations of velociraptors returning from warmer climes. Even plant-eaters like stegosaurus would wreak havoc. And you think bears are destructive to bird feeders? Forget it.

    As winter grinds to a gradual close, two steps forward and one step back, we feel our energy returning. Where we ebbed, we now flow. People buy paint and cleaning supplies and see their curtains clearly for the first time in months. Good merciful heavens, look at that rug! The sunlight filtering through the salt-specked windows reveals dust and I don’t know what all.

    Our bodies were actually here all along, and somewhere we knew it, but now they are becoming so glaringly apparent. They are taking on added significance. This skin is so — this hair is so — this muscle tone — what muscle tone? let’s not talk about it.

    I’ll bet personal hygiene products have big sales spikes at this time of year. Their claims are incredible, in the true sense of the word: nourishes tender skin…rejuvenates …restores youthful radiance …miraculously heals and restores …Yes, we’re smarter than that, but we don’t question too much. Spring is coming, and we’ll suspend our disbelief a little. Truth in packaging is over-rated. Right?

    We want to get up and go. It is now possible to lose weight. All right, says the little guy in the fat control room in your brain. I guess we won’t be needing all of this insulation now. Heating and cooling is his game, and it’s time to start thinking of cooling now.

    Let’s all shake out those resolutions and get going!

    Have a good week.

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