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MARTHA SEZ: What has gone wrong with this relationship?

October 20, 2017
By MARTHA ALLEN , Lake Placid News

Who is this Emmanuel Brush, and what has he done to deserve public shaming in the Oral B Pro television commercials? I ask this because every day when I'm watching MSNBC some attractive, clean-cut young woman comes on and just rips into the dude.

"I'm never going back to Emmanuel Brush!" she declares.

Apparently, she and Emmanuel were an item, maybe husband and wife. She never gives specifics about what has gone wrong with their relationship. Did Emmanuel cheat on her with her best friend?

It isn't just this one girl who makes a point of denouncing Emmanuel Brush. I have seen several squeaky clean natural beauties who claim in no uncertain terms that they are never going back to Emmanuel Brush.

I know what his wife is thinking. I bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan. I cook, I clean. I keep the house nice for Emmanuel, and all the while he is out chasing floozies.

I guess Emmanuel gets around, without ever straying far from the youthful granola type which is his preference.

Sorry to be taking so long finishing this column, but while I was trying to find out more about Emmanuel's love life I got hung up on a lot of other YouTube videos that just appeared on my iMac screen and proved impossible to resist. For example, "The truth about Cleopatra," "Duel between Jerry Lee Lewis and his double first cousin Jimmy Swaggart" (this one regrettably never completely stopped buffering and kept getting encroached upon by other videos, taking up a lot of my time to no avail), "Neanderthal genes in Humans," and "Reconstruction of face of Ancient Athenian Girl."

Here is a comment about the ancient Athenian girl's facial reconstruction by someone who wrote in to YouTube under the name Bob Boon: "I'm surprised the blacks haven't swooped in in droves yet, thrown some random black person's picture who looks kind of like this woman, then proclaim ancient Greece was a black civilization. They do it with the Olmecs, the Chinese, Jews, and the Romans? Who's next? Martians? Atlantians?"

Boon's comment puzzled me, since as far as I could see the video contained no reference to skin color, Olmecs, Martians or any of the other groups he mentioned. Just to make sure, I went back and watched it over again, thus procrastinating even more.

Luckily I at least wasn't drinking wine yet so I was able to restrain myself from replying to Bob. I may get back to him later in the evening, however, after I have finished this column and have had time to sufficiently ponder his questions.

Then I was thinking, does Manny (my new nickname for Emmanuel, who is beginning to feel more like an old friend) have a gambling problem? Perhaps he is in Hogansburg right now at the Akwesasne Mohawk Casino, playing the slots and working up to running the table. Whatever that is. Oh, run the table is a pool term? Well, maybe Manny is a professional pool player.

Manny isn't really so bad. He wanted to get his girlfriend, or his wife (or maybe both of them, why not?) A really nice present. He didn't have the necessary funds, so he decided to multiply his resources at the Akwesasne Casino.

Naturally, this will end badly. I have heard of well-to-do, prominent citizens who have lost magnificent homes and inherited fortunes, as well as their friends and families, by gambling, always thinking they will win it all back with more to spare, after which they will quit for good: "I am never going back to the Akwesasne Casino!" But then they fall deeper and deeper into the pit.

Of course I don't really know if this is true about Manny, and, even if it is, maybe none of it is his fault. I have no reason to believe that Emmanuel Brush cheats and gambles. Maybe he just happens, through some ill-starred quirk of fate, to fall in love with dental hygienists who in turn are in love with their dentist bosses. Another thing I've noticed these young women have in common: They all quote their dentists like devotees.

"I am never going back to Emmanuel Brush." Yes, that's what they say. But quite frankly I don't believe them. Any one of those girls would take Emmanuel back in a heartbeat if he showed up some night at her back door.

Next time: Who's next? Martians? Atlantians?

Have a good week.

 
 

 

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